Changing Lanes

                Imagine you had to merge onto a large multi-lane interstate that was packed with crawling cars that all seemed reluctant to letting you have a single inch?  With some time and persistence you make it into the first of five lanes of traffic and you start moving forward with the crowd of cars.  All of the other cars are tucked in around you making you very cautious of them.  You look over to the far left lane and can see that the traffic there is moving much faster and the cars are farther apart.  You decide that is the lane you want to be in.  How on earth do you get over there?  Well it is going to be slow going and you are probably going to get more than one person to wave at you with a single finger but you put on your blinker and start the slow dangerous crossing of the highway one lane at a time.  You just know that the driving is going to be so much safer in that far lane.  You know that you have to proceed slowly because if you try cutting right over there you will crash.

               

  I have used this story many times talking to people about diets and why they never seem to last. 

You are probably wondering what a diet has to do with a highway full of cars so let me define the pieces here.  Obviously, you are the car and the others all packed in tight around you in that first lane are all the other people that are overweight and out of shape.  The far lane with the fast moving cars speeding along, and where you want to be, is all the skinny people that are in shape and happy in your opinion.    Most days you go along with the crowd wishing that you were in that lane but you just can’t seem to get a break in the traffic to move over.  You try to eat better and exercise but life is busy and soon you are pulled back into the lane you started. 

              

  One day you decide that you have had enough and today is the day.  You hit it hard and start crossing lanes.  You get past the first lane to the second and on to the third.  You have done it and haven’t crashed in the process.  You can almost smell the sweet exhaust of the cars in that first lane.   You have now made it to the second lane and the cars are moving much faster than you are used to.  You grip the wheel tight and try to stay in control but the pace is just too much and you crash.  You skid hard back to the breakdown lane.

               

  The point of that story is that when you decide to start dieting and exercise, and you haven’t done it at all for a very long time, you need to proceed with caution.  If you try crossing too many lanes at once you are going to crash.  I know it is hard to be patient and to hold back when you have decided that enough is enough and you are going to lose that weight once and for all.  But if you really want the once and for all part you need to take it slow and cross lanes one at a time.  What this means is that you need to set manageable goals and make subtle changes to your life to start.  When you adjust to those changes you then make another subtle change.  A sculptor creating a work of art doesn’t strap dynamite around the rock and in one great explosion create his work, he does it one little chip at a time.

               

  So today you might decide to drink more water and stop eating at fast food restaurants.  You cross a lane of traffic and when you get comfortable driving there you look to your left and signal your change.  Maybe this time you decide to start walking with a friend after work or swap out soda for seltzer.  You cross another lane.  There can be as many lanes in this highway as you would like or that you need there to be. 

The hard rule is this.  The more comfortable you are in each lane before crossing into the next the less likely you will be to crash.  To put that another way, the more you identify with the person you have become the less likely you are to go back to the person you were before.  If you do falter on your path it is much easier to get right back into that lane and keep going.

So don't accept your place in the slow lane or make excuses about your tires or the traffic.  Turn on your directional look to the left and start moving.

Thanks again,

Sensei Keith